Burger Review: JCW's

It would seem fair of you to assume that I am gaining a substantial amount of weight with all of the burgers that I have been consuming in the recent weeks that have passed. To the contrary. Hamburgers, despite popular belief, are infinetly nutricious. I think I spelt that wrong. Satuardays adventure took me to a local hamburger eatery, known as JCW's. This particular joint is located at about exit 284, and the only reason that it I know that, is becuase it shares the same exit as Cabela's, who happen to be the world's foremost outfitters. Therefore, it is a superb exit, boasting a hamburger eatery, a sporting goods emporium, and of course, thanksgiving point, which, from what I've heard, is home to 18 holes of superbelous golf. What more could a boy like me wish for in a freeway exit. However, unfortunetly, there needs be opposition in all things, therefore, I will discuse the experience that I had at JCW's, world famous hamburgers. (I added that last part, I actually think that that is fuddruckers slogan.) I suppose I had better begin with my order. I placed it with a young man, I belive he was an emmotional, or emo, if you will, and he confirmed my order with pin point accuracy. The wait in line had only been about 34 seconds to order, and I naivley assumed that I would recieve my food within the ensuing moments. My order number was 235, and they had just called order 211. It had no sooner become apparent to me, that my order would take a substantial amount of time to fulfil. After about 10 minutes, they had called my number, and so I went to claim my spoils, unbeknowst to me, it was merely my strawberry shake. It is important to note, that I purchased seperatly, and with a strawberry shake, as opposed to a softdrink, and my total was $10.41, more than 2 dollars less than 5 Guys. But was the quality better? Lets review. The shake was a tasty morsel, made with real strawberrys, and bursting with flavour. Not to mention, the fact that It was too much for me to even finish. The shake would probably have had to been an A-.The bad news, and the most negative experience of the day, and possibly my entire week, was that it took over 30 minutes to recieve my food. Now, if I were sitting at a fancy resturant, with a lovely young woman, and had nothing else to do, that wouldn't have been such a big deal. However, I was with my roommate, I was starving, and we were heading up to Salt Lake to check out some hockey equipment for the new season, therefore, we felt a wee bit rushed. (It wasn't terrible however, they did have flatscreens strategicaly placed throughout the diner, displaying the NFL draft.) After several minutes, we had finally recieved our food. I had ordered a standard double cheeseburger, nothing too fancy, and my first bite revealed some information, critical to the quality of this burger. First, the bad news. The layering was poor. they had not only placed the lettuce underneath the meat, but they had placed the pickles underneath the lettuce. The problem with this method, is that the first thing that your toungue comes in contact with, is the pickle, then the lettuce, and finally the meat. However, that was the bad news, the good news, was that the overall quality of the burger was awesome. The meat was juicy, even the lettuce was juicy. I don't necessarily mean greasy, I just mean juicy. when that sensation is acheived, it demonstrates that all of the ingridients are in perfect harmony, the lettuce wasn't all cold, with the meat warm, or vise versa, everything was perfect. Sort of like that Chinese word that means "oneness". Therefore, I will rate the overall quality of theburger, at a B+. Finally, the fries. These fries have got to have been the best fries I have ever had the enjoyment of proving. The potatoes must have come from eastern Oregon, becuase they were soooo dang good. They had used a potato with a lighter skin, which usally means that the skins are thinner, making it easier to fry. They opted not to skin the potatoes, a decision with which I am grateful. They were fried at a perfect temperature, and for a perfect amount of time, giving them, what I call the "golden consistency". Slightly crispy on the outside, perfectly and evenly cooked on the inside. The fries were also about 1 cm squared, which is perfect for dipping, becuase a smaller width fry, requires a cluster to obtain adequate fry sauce. The other amazing thing about the fries, and this is difficult to explain, and may sound weird to some, is that they had a hint of batter fried halibut taste. That sealed the deal, with all of those factors in the fries, I have no choice, but to grade them at an A+, which is a grade I have never given. The overall grade of the franchise, would, on that day, would have been about a B, to B+, and arguably a B-, if you had somewhere to go, just due to the sheer number of patrons, however, if you caught it on a slow day, I would feel confident in giving the franchise a solid A-. Reasonably priced, superb quality, and fries that I would go to war to preserve. I appologize in the sheer mass of this review, I merely hope that it will increase the quality of your life. Until next next week, drive safely.

The Long Ball: Is it the Indian, Or the Arrow?

It's an age old question, dating back to even prehistoric times. You see, in ancient America (this includes all of the Americas; north, and south, however excludes Africa, Australia and the orient) Indians used to hunt wild game using a bow, quite often accompanied by an arrow. Oft times, these Indians, or Native Americans, if you will, would miss the beast entirely, or perhaps not hit it in the kill zone. On occasion, arguments would erupt, when the shooter would place the blame of the poor shot on his arrow. Though no scientific evidence exists support the claims of these arguments, 89% of anthropologists agree that they actual took place. Now, to make these claims applicable to modern times. Take golf, for example. Some people tend to hit poor drives off the tee, and they blame their golf club, as opposed to taking the blame on themselfs. This apparent lack of ability gets into the head of the golfer, and they believe that they cannot hit the longball. What they do not realize, is that it isn't the preverbial indian, it's the arrow. You can practice all day with a crappy driver, but if you can't hit the dang ball straight and long, it's obviously the driver. In my case, I finally got me a Ping 10.5 G10, with a Prolaunch V2 76G X-stiff shaft, and I did not hit a single drive poorly, In fact, I do not even feel capable of hitting a poor drive. I hit the ball so well, I am thinking about just turning pro. Therefore, the theory that states: It's the indian, not the arrow, is absolutely false. Thank you for having read this post, if you wish for me to sign anything before I turn pro, just drop me a line.

Burger Review: Five Guys Burgers and Fries

I am well aware that many of you have been anxiously waiting for me to post a burger review, as I am infinetely good at conisuereing burgers. Well, todays journey took me to the recently opened Five Guys, in Orem. I had eaten there once before, but I decided to give it another chance. The first trial that I encountered was the menu. At Five Guys, they don't offer any meal combo deals, you have to order everything seperatly. Well whats the problem with that, one might ask. Well, you don't need to be an econ major to know that when you order things individually, prices can add up very quickly. For example, I ordered a bacon cheeseburger, a large fry, and a medium drink. Now, a combo meal would have probably been not more than 7 or 8 bucks, however, I spent about $12.83. For that price, I could have gone to Fuddruckers, which, for those of you that have not yet proved it, are superb in nearly every aspect. A good plus however, is that they don't jip you on the fries, they provide a rather generous amount. The con with this, is if you order the Cajun fries, you will get sick of them before you can finish your fries, and if you order the regular fries, well, their just not that great. I would give the fries about a C+, or perhaps on a good day, a B-. (That may or may not have anything to do with the fact that the fries came from Rexburg, ID.) Now onto the burger. I ordered a burger that was pretty loaded as far as ingridients go, just to paint the picture. The layering was superb, by placing the bacon below the beef, and the veggies on top, your tongue had the pleasure of encountering the meat first, which is far a far superior method, that placing the lettuce below the beef, which is quite common among other burger franchises. With that aside, I would have to say, that the burger was overly common. The buns were merely storebought, and none of the ingridients were that special. Although the burgers, were pretty decent, a B+, the fact that it is more expensive than any other burger joint that I have proved, it is always packed, and the fries aren't that great, I would have to rank this franchise, at about a C+.

Parking: The Extreme Measure of Character

There are many measures of a man's integrity, and character. Some have to do with how he treats others, some, how he spends his money, others might view a man's character by how he
reacts under pressure, or under heavy stress. However, it is of my opinion, that one of the largest judgements of character, is also one of the most obvious to see. How a man parks his vechicle. It doesn't matter what you drive, it could be a Hyundai Accent, or like in my case, a full size 3/4 ton diesel. It also doesn't matter how you decide to park, it could be by pulling in, backing in, or by parrallel parking, all are acceptable methods. However, not more than an hour ago, as I was enjoying my sandwich at a local Subway eatery, I noticed how patrons of the restuarant would park there small cars and trucks, before quickly hopping out, to be the first to consume a famed 5 dollar footlong! What I observed both startled, and alarmed me. out of the 6 patrons I saw arrive, only 3 had acceptable parking jobs. Thats 50%. Those are terrible odds. Everywhere these days have lines painted on the tarmac, displaying acceptable parking boundries, some people see these lines as merely a suggestion, some thing that they could follow if they weren't so hungry, or late for class. Several people told me that driving my truck in Utah would be a nightmare, and impossible to park, however, I chose to quote the ever so wise Richard Clarkson, who once said, "It doesn't matter what you drive, it matters how you drive it." The fact that I can drive a behemoth, that is, on average, 35% longer than most vechicles, and 13% wider, and still park it perfectly between the lines, anywhere in a parking lot, tells me that there are several people that merely don't care about driving. Such people are not here, nor there with the unspoken laws of parking, and this tells me, that such people need to appreciate life more, take there time, understand that they are not the only people in the world, and if such people begin doing this, the world will become a better place. Charity will be abounding, wars will cease, and on trips to the local wal-mart, parking spaces will be more abundant than the sands of the seas! These are my observations, you may take them as a grain of salt if you wish, however, you may find that my sterotyping is ever so accurate.

Bread of the Passover (Pan de Pascua)

As we are all aware, tommorow will be Easter Sunday, or passover, if you will. This brings up an interesting question, what the heck does pascua mean? I truly desire to know the awnser. It obviously can't be Christmas if its Easter! This doubt of mine has never been resolved, however, there is a preverbial bigger fish to fry. Why is it that chileans love pan de pascua, don't they realize that it is the same thing as fruitcake, and nobody likes fruitcake. In the USA, we just regift fruitcake, 3 or 4 times before someone finally has the courage to throw it away. I believe that chileans do a similar thing by offering it continually to missionaries. By doing this, they don't actually have to waste food, but they can give it to missionaries! Then I realized that in fact, chileans love fruitcake. It is one of the most repulsive things to look at, and consume, and I am grateful that I am still not capable of loading photos from the internet to show you all, becuase it will not only dirty up by otherwise clean blog, but it will also induce vomiting.
That is my easter message, now let's all go to church tommorow, and feel uplifted.

Live From the Masters

I appologize to all of my loyal followers who have waited for my blog post. As you can see, you can't rush excelence. I wanted to thank all of you who voted in my recent poll regarding fruit nectars, the results were astounding. On a more serious note, I feel it neccesary to acknowledge Tiger Woods' poor performance in the current Masters Tournament, even more dire, is the fact that this silly word processing program, has no spell check. Therefore, it is important for those who read this post, to not judge the grammatical, and or puntuational errors found therein.
As I'm sure, many of my loyal followers are probably wondering "what is up" (that's what the kids are saying these days) in my life. Well, you see, I attend Utah Valley University, where I study things like Criminal Justice, history, and russian. Russian? Да. Some may ask, well, then what is it that you do for fun? Well, this may suprise you all to know, but I play golf, and not neccessarily for fun, but for a CHALLENGE!!! You see, golf is a sport that can be played, but can never be won, (Will Smith, The Legend Of Bagger Vance) with that in mind, one can realize that his potential to play, and get better, is infinite. Well, I am affraid that I have no idea what I'm talking about, and I feel that this combobulation of words makes little, or no sense to those who may find it in their hearts to humor me by reading this porqueria, so I close this post with a quote from Brigham Young. "Work hard, be happy, or go to HE@#".